After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
