i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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