you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
