There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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