sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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