I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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