So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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