why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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