i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
