I think I won the penis lottery.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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