erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize