U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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