I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize