well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
