his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
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