I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize