Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
