I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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