Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
