Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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