I wish I could punch you in the face.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
