just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
