Whod you bang
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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