Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
