i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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