P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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