dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
