he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
