Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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