He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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