how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
