Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
