yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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