To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
