thus making me awesome and them whores
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Randomize
