i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
