Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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