and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
