We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
