Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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