she looked like the before picture.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The struggles of a small town man whore
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
