508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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