I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize