dude i'm inner monologue high
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
