This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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