just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
