There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
And then my night got REAL pukey
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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