Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
