Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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