Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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