yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
