As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
