dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sext me about skeletons
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
