I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
