the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
