Cold hands, warm shart.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize