i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
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You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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