Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
