Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
"it" just moved
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
