im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
