so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
