Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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