Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize