I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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