Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
