so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
