Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
