I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
