No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
