you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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