google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
