i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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